Archives June 2021

Little White Dresses We’re Loving RN

The Everygirl’s product selections are curated by the editorial team. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. We only recommend products we genuinely love.






Source: H&M

We all grew up hearing about the show-stopping wonders that are the LBD. That if you found the right one, it would be years-long go-to that would be the equivalent of witchcraft, giving us an answer to “what should I wear?” time and time again. But if you ask us, all of that hype should have actually been about the little white dress.

CURRENTLY TRENDING /

The Best 4th of July Sales to Shop This Weekend

epic discounts from our favorite retailers 🇺🇸 

Sure, a good LBD is a timeless addition to a wardrobe, but a LWD is the less-formal, more versatile necessity. A little white dress gives you more room to dress it both up and down, add layers over it, and take you from season to season without fail. Everyone needs a good white dress in their wardrobe, and trust us: you’ll thank yourself for investing in one time and time again—especially on days where you need something that makes you feel like you need a little something special to put on.

No matter if your calendar is filled with parties or barbecues or patio nights filled with glasses of rosé, these little white dresses will take you there in style.





BEACHLUNCHLOUNGE

Lexa Crinkle Maxi Dress

Shop it now





FRENCH CONNECTION

Whisper Ruffle Minidress

4 colors available

Shop it now





FRENCH CONNECTION

Whisper Light Sheath Minidress

5 colors available

Shop it now





LOST + WANDER

Angel in Disguise Smocked Tie Strap Dress

Shop it now





ASTR THE LABEL

Puff Sleeve Stretch Cotton Minidress

2 colors available

Shop it now





ASOS

Button Through Lace Tiered Midi Dress

Shop it now





ASOS

Long Sleeve Eyelet Mini Smock Dress

Shop it now





ASOS

Tie Back Mini Smock Dress

Shop it now





ASOS

Broderie Mini Dress with Square Neck and Puffed Sleeves

Shop it now





H&M

Wide-Cut Dress

Shop it now









H&M

Tie Belt Shirt Dress

Shop it now





H&M

Cotton Dress

3 colors available

Shop it now





H&M

Flounce-Trimmed Dress

2 colors available

Shop it now





H&M

Ribbed Jersey Dress

3 colors available

Shop it now





H&M

Bodycon Dress

4 colors available

Shop it now





H&M+

Ruffle-Trimmed Dress

2 colors available

Shop it now





MANGO

Broderie Anglaise Cotton Dress

Shop it now





J.Crew

Puff-Sleeve Eyelet Dress

3 colors available

Shop it now





Madewell

Embroidered Eyelet Button-Front Tiered Mini Dress

3 colors available

Shop it now





Madewell

Linen-Blend Clara Midi Dress

Shop it now

How to Stop Wedding Debt From Ruining Your Marriage






Source: Sincerely Media | Unsplash

That old adage of the first year of marriage being the hardest doesn’t have to ring true anymore; the early days of marriage should be one of the happiest periods in your relationship. With more and more couples functioning similarly to married couples before they walk down the aisle, there shouldn’t be that many big surprises or adjustments in store after saying “I do.” The one thing that could get in the way of those blissful early days? Wedding debt.

While being engaged, planning a wedding, and enjoying the festivities can be extremely fun and rewarding, overspending on your wedding day may just cancel out some of the joy the act of getting married brought you.

A 2019 study by LendingTree found that 45 percent of newlyweds went into debt for their wedding. Sadly, that debt led to its fair share of marital strife. We’re not trying to scare you off from having a big wedding—we really love weddings at The Everygirl—but we do want to give you some food for thought before you hand over a check to yet another vendor. 

 

CURRENTLY TRENDING /

The Best 4th of July Sales to Shop This Weekend

epic discounts from our favorite retailers 🇺🇸 

Where the problems start

It’s no secret that weddings are expensive, and wedding vendors capitalize on the fact that couples and their families want the day to feel really special. The costs can mount quickly, and it’s really understandable that you can easily step over your budget. 

In the same LendingTree study, 76 percent of newlyweds reported they went into debt to pay for their wedding, and that they argued about their wedding-related expenses with their partner. When you look at the couples who didn’t go into debt because of wedding planning, only 20 percent of couples said they argued about their wedding-related expenses.

 

What’s the worst that can happen?

While debt is very common, and is always somewhat stressful, wedding-related debt can put a unique strain on your relationship. Almost half of the newlyweds who went into debt for their wedding reported that their money caused them to contemplate divorce, whereas only 9 percent of couples who didn’t go into debt for their wedding said the same thing. Remember, these couples were only married for at most two years before the survey took place, which means side effects of wedding debt impacted their relationships very quickly. The wedding debt, in general, caused 36 percent of couples to argue about money often. 

Obviously, most engaged couples won’t be too keen on the idea of divorce or about spending their early days of marriage arguing about their finances, so creating a realistic budget for their wedding that they’re both happy with is key. To avoid resentment over wedding day spending from building up down the road, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what your wedding budget is. This conversation should extend to any family members who want to contribute as well. There is no point in being shy here, a lack of communication can only lead to more problems. Identifying how much you’re willing to spend as a couple on your big day—and actually sticking to that number—will get you both on the same page. Once you’re on the same page about what you can afford, there’s a better chance you won’t go over budget. 

What if you and your betrothed don’t see eye-to-eye on wedding day spending? That’s OK! It may feel unpleasant to disagree when you’re in the midst of engagement bliss, but being able to disagree respectfully and compromise now will help you learn how to manage financial disagreements in the future. 48 percent of American couples who are married or living with a partner argue over finances. Learning how to navigate financial disagreements early on will hopefully help you avoid fighting about money in the future. Hiding your spending now or making big decisions without consulting each other aren’t healthy decisions to make for your finances or relationship. 

If you do find yourself arguing about wedding spending, try to take a step back and figure out where the root of the argument really lies. Listen and be open to not getting your way, because that very well may be the outcome. Weddings can cause a lot of financial anxiety. The idea of an open bar might push one partner over the edge if they feel like they’re spending too much. For many people, a wedding is the first major expense they’ve had to face in their life and the whole process can be overwhelming. Try to keep both of your spending comfort levels in mind.

If a disagreement is beginning to form, ask each other the following questions to get on the same page before emotions start to run high.

  • Why is this purchase so important to you?
  • Is there a less expensive compromise that you would be happy with?
  • Would you be willing to skip another expense in favor of this one?
  • Can we pay for it in cash?

 

Your wedding day, your rules

As soon as you get engaged, get ready for a lot of opinions to come your way about what your day should look like. Feel free to nod and smile and take their advice under consideration, but at the end of the day, try to focus on what’s important to you and your partner—especially when it comes to spending. The last thing you want to do is to go into debt because a well-meaning family member insists you need to have an open bar with all the fixings. 

Sit down with your partner and write down your list of wedding priorities in order from top to bottom. Identify what is a “must-have” and what would simply be nice if there’s room in your budget. For what it’s worth, the couples surveyed reported that their most “worth-it” wedding expense actually happened after the wedding. Almost 27 percent surveyed chose their honeymoon! So don’t be afraid to have a simpler wedding day and go all out on the honeymoon of your dreams.

It’s totally OK if you want to have a super nice wedding (as long as your budget permits it of course!), but remember it’s also OK if you want to have a smaller wedding and put that money toward a downpayment, to pay off debt, or to put it into savings. Starting off your marriage by doing what is right for you and your partner is something you’ll never regret. 

 

Juneteenth: Moving Forward in the Fight for Justice

A pair of hands of people of different races intersecting

Recognized annually on June 19, Juneteenth marks the federal order to free slaves in Texas on June 19, 1865. While Juneteenth has historically and primarily been celebrated by Black communities, the day marks an important moment in our nation’s history. It offers an opportunity for all Americans to learn more about the history of slavery in the U.S., the specific structures of racism that followed Juneteenth and today’s ongoing fight for justice. 

Here’s a brief look at the history of Juneteenth, its significance and ideas for how you can recognize this important day in history:

The History of Juneteenth 

Though released on January 1, 1863, the Emancipation Proclamation did not automatically free all enslaved individuals in the United States. In states like Texas, slavery continued until June 19, 1865 when federal troops reached Galveston and proclaimed the freedom of enslaved men and women. A year later, on June 19, Black communities organized what we now call “Juneteenth,” a celebration of freedom that involved religious services, community activities, musical performances and big feasts. 

Throughout time, strawberry soda, barbecues and baseball became special hallmarks of the events, and Juneteenth adopted key focuses such as an emphasis on prayer, education and self-development. 

How to Honor Juneteenth Today

The National Museum of African American History and Culture writes, “The legacy of Juneteenth shows the value of deep hope and urgent organizing in uncertain times.” Though anti-racism education should be a consistent part of our lives, Juneteenth offers us a distinct opportunity to pause and dig in further to the history of and struggle for racial justice. 

Read a report from the Equal Justice Initiative on Reconstruction in Americathe complex history following the earliest Juneteenth celebration—or attend a virtual lecture offered by a respected institution, like the NMAAHC or the National Center for Civil and Human Rights

The urgent work of racial justice happens when we organize and gather in community to learn. Gather your community—your school, neighborhood or religious community—to honor Juneteenth. Follow Black activists, scholars and artists and engage in calls to action. You can also support organizations working toward racial justice with your time and donations.

Why the Fight for Justice Still Matters

The fight for justice for Black Americans matters. We still live in a society that is riddled with injustice. In the last year, we have witnessed injustice waged against the Black community and a stark rise in anti-Asian hate crimes, both in spite of a supposed increase in awareness about the reality of racism. 

Recognizing and honoring Juneteenth presents us with the shared opportunity to recognize where our nation has been and where we would like to go. It is a time to recognize a group of people who throughout history have been overlooked, marginalized, abused, stereotyped, profiled and threatened. It is up to us, not our parents or their parents, to be the change we want to see, which begins with humility and growing in our awareness and understanding of the true history of America and its injustices.

In what ways can you take time to learn about the history of Juneteenth? How confident are you to pursue hard conversations about race and racial injustice? What, if anything, holds you back?

Illustration via Micaela Fox

What to Wear to Every Summer Bachelorette Party

The Everygirl’s product selections are curated by the editorial team. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. We only recommend products we genuinely love.






Source: Funboy

Over the course of life, I’ve learned many things. One of them is that bachelorette parties (while tough on the sleep schedule and, at times, the liver) are good for the soul. There’s nothing like bringing a group of women together in celebration of a bride that transforms strangers into friends and gets you ready for the bride-to-be’s big day. While each bachelorette party differs in location, duration, and itineraries, what to wear to a bachelorette party weekend is (usually) pretty consistent.

CURRENTLY TRENDING /

The Best 4th of July Sales to Shop This Weekend

epic discounts from our favorite retailers 🇺🇸 

Consider this a blueprint for a packing list that’ll make it easier for you to choose what to wear to your next bachelorette party. By opting for one-piece getups and multi-use accessories that can work with different outfits, you can maximize your on-the-go wardrobe while saving space in your overnight bag or carry-on luggage. Our minds and bodies may not be totally ready for a weekend full of shenanigans with the gals, but you better believe our outfits will be.

 

Travel Outfit: Leggings + White Tee + Shacket + Sneakers

You can’t go wrong traveling in your comfiest pair of leggings, a white T-shirt, functional tennis shoes, and an oversized shacket (why do airplanes get so cold?). She’s practical, she’s cozy, and she’s ready to get you from point A to point B in style.





HeyNuts

Black Leggings

26 colors available

Shop it now





Topshop

Crewneck Tee

2 colors available

Shop it now





BP.

Crop T-Shirt

5 colors available

Shop it now





Vero Moda

Fleece Shirt Jacket

Shop it now





BP.

Plaid Shirt Jacket

Shop it now

 

Poolside: Black Swimsuit + Coverup + Straw Hat + Sunnies + Pool Slides

If you’re hitting up a bachelorette party in the summer or traveling to somewhere warm, you’ll probably be at a pool or beach, catching rays and sipping on your favorite seltzer drink. Along with sunscreen and a packable straw hat, these essentials are must-haves for a day next to the water.





Madewell

Drawstring Cover-Up

2 colors available

Shop it now





L*Space

Duster Cover-Up

3 colors available

Shop it now





Madewell

Tangerine Print Sarong

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

Oversized Button-Up Shirt

Shop it now





H&M

Short Beach Kaftan

Shop it now





Summersalt

One-Shoulder Swimsuit

10 colors available

Shop it now





Lands’ End

Plus Size Bikini Top

2 colors available

Shop it now





Lands’ End

Plus Size Bikini Bottoms

3 colors available

Shop it now





L*Space

V-Wire Bikini Top

Shop it now





L*Space

High-Waisted Bikini Bottom

Shop it now

 

Day Drinks: Jumpsuit/Dress/Jean Shorts and a Blouse + Sneaks + Casual Shoulder Bag

Whether you’re bar hopping in Nashville, getting a boozy brunch, or parading your bride-to-be on a pub-crawling trolley, this outfit combination is a simple one. Opt for a comfy romper, a flowy dress, or simple denim shorts with a top. It’ll help you beat the heat and look good while doing it.





Mango

Belt Linen Jumpsuit

Shop it now





Madewell

Ribbed Tank Scoop Midi Dress

Shop it now





Madewell

Belted Safari Romper

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

Tie-Front Mini Dress

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

Short Sleeve Cardigan

2 colors available

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

V-Neck Cami

3 colors available

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

Tie-Front Top

Shop it now





Zara

The ’90s Short

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

High-Rise Overalls

Shop it now

 

Fancy Dinner: A Head-Turning Dress + Strappy Sandals + Elevated Shoulder Bag

Bon appétit! It’s dinnertime, and fancy cocktails and tasty apps aren’t the only things on the menu tonight. That’s right ladies, we’re talking about serving up your favorite elevated dinner outfit that is sure to turn heads. These stunning dresses are easy to pack and will take the guesswork out of your next outfit crisis.





Mango

Chain Print Dress

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

Knot-Front Midi Dress

3 colors available

Shop it now





Mango

Gathered Waist Dress

Shop it now





Abercrombie & Fitch

Halter Tiered Dress

3 colors available

Shop it now





Eloquii

Tie-Front Maxi Dress

Shop it now

 

Night Out: A Little Black Dress/Jumpsuit + Strappy Sandals + Elevated Shoulder Bag

When you’re out on the town, you simply can’t miss with a LBD or bodycon dress that’s flattering on your silhouette and bound to make you look bomb in group pics. Cheers to a night of celebrating your bestie and befriending the most important women in her life.





Abercrombie & Fitch

Twist-Front Jumpsuit

3 colors available

Shop it now





Topshop

Twist Front Mini Dress

Shop it now





Good American

Cut

Shop it now





Open Edit

Bodycon Midi Dress

Shop it now





Lavish Alice

Corset Long Sleeve Minidress

Shop it now

 

Accessories

When you’re out and about and don’t have access to your entire collection of accessories, keep it simple. Pack your most versatile jewelry, a day bag, a night bag, two to three pairs of shoes (with one pair being sneakers for traveling and daytime activities), a pool hat, and of course, sunnies. 





Mango

Mini Basket Bag

Shop it now





Zara

Quilted Shoulder Bag

Shop it now





Mango

Embossed Necklace

Shop it now





Mango

Mixed Chain Necklace

Shop it now





Mango

Embossed Hoop Earrings

Shop it now





Marc Fisher LTD

Strappy Slide Sandal

4 colors available

Shop it now





Veja

Low-Top Sneakers

Shop it now





Steve Madden

Scuba Slide Sandals

Shop it now





QUAY

Cat Eye Sunnies

Shop it now

 

Darling Letters: How to Keep Your Heart Tender

A woman in a navy blue suit crouched on the floor

We are bringing “Darling Letters” from your inbox to the blog! We love the art of letter writing and believe it helps build authentic community. Our editors and contributors have thoughtfully written encouraging letters to cut through the busyness and speak straight to your heart.

My bleary eyes check the clock, confirming it’s already tomorrow. 1:17 a.m. I grab my journal and scribble “I’m too raw and exposed. Just teetering on an edge.” 

I breathe in and out the prayerful pleas on my heart to steady myself back into my body. Now, it’s 6:12 a.m. I’m awake again as my 4-year-old daughter clumsily tries to sneak under my covers. Her big, sleepy eyes beg for a snuggle, and she’s wrapped up in my arms just like that. Down the hall my eldest runs his fingers across the keys of our hand-me-down piano, and music fills the house and my heart too, which is strung out from yesterday’s heartache. Right now, however, it’s so full from the sweet glory of a new day that tears hit my cheeks.

Right now, however, [my heart is] so full from the sweet glory of a new day that tears hit my cheeks.

The kids are antsy for breakfast, but I quickly journal, “My mind reels and wanders. My heart swells and breaks. I need the both/and. I don’t want to dull myself from feeling tender to all that remains good.”

The tender parts of us are a glimmer of our humanity. We remain tender by holding the tension of our “ands”joy and grief, hard and sacred. I want to be soft enough to behold and brim the beauty of it all while remaining unflinchingly curious and empathetic to wade into the deep of what is broken and painful. Hard-fought, deep joy doesn’t deny or look away from sorrow. Even in heartache, we can hold space for hope to return. 

Even in heartache, we can hold space for hope to return. 

Author and activist Parker Palmer taught me the etymology of the word humus, which is the decayed vegetable matter that nurtures the roots of plants. It comes from the same root word for humility. Our most humble momentsface down in the dirt, tender and rawmay create the richest soil for deep rooting and meaning. If we harden ourselves, we’ll miss it. Stay tender for truth, healing, beauty and justice to grow wild here.

With a tender heart,
Jessica Mayfield, the Darling family

What negative connotation does “a tender heart” carry in society? How do you perceive “tenderness” and “vulnerability”? How can keeping your heart soft and tender be used to your advantage?

Image via Taylor Roades, Art via Ash (Opperman) Wilson

Darling Letters: La Libertad Que Se Encuentra Al Abrazar El Gris

A gray image of an ocean shore

Darling is working to translate some of our content into Spanish. If you have edits or feedback on this translation, our team would love your input! Email blog@darlingmagazine.org and include Spanish Translation in your subject line.

For the English version, click here.

Translation via Jennifer Rodriguez

Hace cuatro veranos, una amiga y yo nos sentamos en un muelle, mirando las estrellas y reflexionando sobre la vida. Hablamos sobre las diferencias en cómo pensamos–cómo ella piensa en gris mientras que yo pienso en blanco y negro. Desde entonces, mi forma de pensar ha cambiado y ahora veo la belleza de la vida en las áreas grises. 

Desde entonces, mi forma de pensar ha cambiado y ahora veo la belleza de la vida en las áreas grises. 

El año pasado tuvo más paradojas de las que podía haber imaginado. Un año de profunda tristeza y dolor, risa y diversión, ira y examinación, aventura y renovación, vergüenza y miedo, curiosidad y crecimiento. Me sentí más confundida que nunca. Sin embargo, de alguna manera llegué a un lugar de confianza fundamentada que no sabía que fuera posible.

 Las áreas grises pueden ser intimidantes porque no tenemos control allí. Tenemos que ver a las personas como seres humanos dinámicos en lugar de separarlos en pequeñas categorías ordenadas. Algunas personas podrían describir esto como mantener una tensión de opuestos. Yo lo experimenté como una libertad que me envolvía como una ola– a veces tan poderosa que no podía pararme y a veces tan tranquila que todo lo que podía hacer era sentarme y respirar profundamente. 

Liberar la tensión de la paradoja y abrazar las áreas grises conducen a una aceptación radical y a una gratitud. Es hermoso reconocer cómo las experiencias únicas e incluso los opuestos pueden coexistir. 

Liberar la tensión de la paradoja y abrazar las áreas grises conducen a una aceptación radical y a una gratitud.

Con resolución,
Emma

¿Sueles ver la vida y las personas en blanco y negro? ¿Cuál es el valor de aprender a tener espacio para la paradoja?

Imagen vía Raisa Zwart Photography

How Nature Can Revive a Weary Soul

A woman's hand holding out a book along a gravel trail

While it may seem trite or obvious that nature is good for us, the benefits of nature on our mental wellness are infinite. There’s something so poetic and Thoreau about it, of course. We all love a bucolic moment—visualizing ourselves milking the cow and leisurely running our hands through a wheat field. But how do we, the suburban and city folk, really benefit from nature? 

After 2020 and transitioning back into a faster pace of life in 2021, it is possible that you may be feeling weary. We’ve overcome the trappings and the drawbacks of a year of the “new normal” and are walking a path now that is perhaps ambivalent and unknown. We are all finding our footing again. Last year, we were inside more than ever, and now as we return to the hustle of our “new normal,” it can be harder to find time to simply take a walk in the woods. 

So this, my friends, is where we begin. 

A walk in the woods is a lovely place to start, but what if we don’t have the woods? I know in suburban Southern California that I do not have any sort of woodland nearby. However, hills will work. Hiking paths, trails, a small yard or public park, they all work. 

If there’s nothing nearby, then I encourage you to familiarize yourself with what is close and accessible to hike or visit. There are urban farms and even many fairgrounds have botanical gardens or large grass lots where you can picnic. If nature isn’t convenient, please do not let that deter you. Find a way to access your own little piece of the great outdoors and bring it into your fold.

Find a way to access your own little piece of the great outdoors and bring it into your fold.

Here are a few practical tools on how to use nature to counteract your weariness:

1. Train your brain to crave the outdoors.

Just like exercise and coffee, which you’ve told your brain to do each morning, add going outside to your daily routine. After a while (it takes 21 days to build a habit), it’ll be second nature (pun intended). 

When you start to feel unrest, anxiety, sadness, the 2 p.m. slump or even the itch to “doom scroll” your Instagram, instead go outside. Sit with the sun on your face. Feel and smell the grass. Walk slowly enjoying any trees, shrubs and flowers that are along your path.

Sit with the sun on your face. Feel and smell the grass.

2. Soil makes us happy.

It’s been scientifically proven that gardening reduces anxiety and depression. How? Soil contains microbes that when inhaled, mimic what serotonin does to our brains. What?! I know, it’s wild. 

Gardening, and literally digging in the dirt, increases happiness and relaxation while decreasing feelings of dissatisfaction. Place yourself in the way of good things and find a way to garden if you can. Perhaps, a small 2 x 4 ft. raised bed would fit on your patio, or find a community garden that you can become involved in!

3. Learn to rest, not quit.

When you’re weary and rundown, it’s common to want to throw in the towel on whatever is ailing you, whether that be relationships, jobs, projects, etc. Nothing is safe. Instead, rest and then reevaluate. I’m not talking about a 20-minute power nap where you awake to an alarm and remain groggy all day. I’m talking about active rest in nature.

Nature has a revitalizing effect on us because it entertains us while allowing us to escape mentally. It turns off the active thinking brain and allows the subconscious to take over a bit. Similar to meditation, being in nature allows the neural pathways in your brain to rebuild and heal. It changes up your environment and introduces calm. This is necessary for our bodies and brains, and it allows our cells to repair and, in turn, keeps us healthy, rested, happy and moving. 

Everyday wonder and miracles abound in nature. Seeds self-sow. Colors emerge that have never before been seen. Plants create medicine that heals us. Being in mere proximity to that kind of wonder will revive your weary soul. After all, we’re simply atoms and dust ourselves, belonging quite perfectly amongst the ferns and flowers. 

Everyday wonder and miracles abound in nature.

For absolutely no reason whatsoever other than your own joy, today go be in nature. See for yourself the difference in how you feel. 

How often do you intentionally spend time in nature? How do you feel after time spent outside?

Image via Zoe Lea

The July 4th Sales We’re Shopping This Year

The Everygirl’s product selections are curated by the editorial team. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. We only recommend products we genuinely love.






Source: Alaina Kaczmarski for The Everygirl

For some, the 4th of July means a day jam-packed with summer fun, including time in the sun, al fresco dining, and outfits in all shades of red, white, and blue. Especially in the summer of 2021, this patriotic holiday spells festivities galore for most. For us, the 4th of July means all of that plus hitting up some of the biggest, most exciting sales of the season. What better way to celebrate than by finally snagging a deal on that home decor item we’ve been eyeing for months, by scoring an unexpectedly affordable summer outfit, or by finding a brand new skincare product at an impressively low price?

There’s no better long weekend to devote to surfing the sales, and we’ve compiled a list of the absolute best July 4th sales on the internet. This year, you can catch us shopping these deals from sunrise to fireworks.

 

up to 70% off at J.Crew

use code BESTSALE

J.Crew

Slub Twist-Front Tank

Shop now

J.Crew

Silk Camisole

Shop now

J.Crew

Ruffle Stretch Cotton Poplin Jumpsuit

Shop now

J.Crew

Short-Sleeve Lightweight Poplin Shirt

Shop now

J.Crew

Silk Camisole in Leopard

Shop now

J.Crew

Off-The-Shoulder Dress in Ikat Antique Floral

Shop now

J.Crew

Cottage Dress in Stripe

Shop now

J.Crew

Poplin Shirtdress

Shop now

J.Crew

Tie-Waist Linen Shirtdress

Shop now

J.Crew

Tie-Waist Linen Shirtdress in Stripe

Shop now

$25 off purchases of $125+ at Madewell

use code TheEverygirl

Madewell

The Curvy Momjean in Mayes Wash

Shop now

Madewell

Linen-Blend Allie Mini Dress

Shop now

Madewell

Stovepipe Jeans in Hume Wash

Shop now

Madewell

Ottoman Jacquard Button-Front Tank

Shop now

Madewell

Linen Keyhole Top

Shop now

Madewell

Tie-Waist Romper

Shop now

Madewell

Puff-Sleeve Smocked Top

Shop now

Madewell

Oversized Trucker Jean Jacket

Shop now

25% off at Abercrombie & Fitch

no code necessary

Abercrombie & Fitch

High-Rise Denim Mom Shorts

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

90s Oversized Button-Up Shirt

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Twist-Front Cutout Midi Dress

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Curve Love High-Rise Mom Shorts

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Linen-Blend Pull-On Shorts

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Halter Trapeze Tiered Mini Dress

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Kimono Swim Cover Up

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Easy Waist Linen Jumpsuit

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Easy Waist Midi Dress

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Slide Sandals

Shop now

up to 70% off at West Elm

no code necessary

West Elm

Mitzi Nightstand

Shop now

West Elm

Peony Onyx Coasters

Shop now

West Elm

Candlewick Duvet Cover & Shams

Shop now

West Elm

Mid-Century Hook Rack

Shop now

West Elm

Classic Stripe Duvet Cover & Shams

Shop now

West Elm

Cotton Cloud Jersey Duvet Cover & Shams

Shop now

West Elm

Exposed Wood Barrel Handle Trays

Shop now

West Elm

Blair Stainless Steel Flatware

Shop now

West Elm

Glass Shadow Boxes

Shop now

West Elm

Velvet Pillows

Shop now

West Elm

Upholstered Storage Bed

Shop now

West Elm

Stone Tile Rug

Shop now

West Elm

Seagrass Twist Rug

Shop now

West Elm

Marble Frame Hutch

Shop now

25% off Lenox Dinnerware

use code FIREWORKS

Lennox

French Perle Scallop 12-Piece Dinnerware Set

Shop now

Lennox

French Perle Scallop 4-Piece Place Setting

Shop now

Lennox

French Perle Scallop 4-Piece Mug Set

Shop now

Lennox

French Perle Scallop 4-Piece Bowl Set

Shop now

Lennox

French Perle Scallop Platter

Shop now

Lennox

French Perle Scallop 4-Piece Dinner Plate Set

Shop now

up to 50% off at Old Navy

no code necessary

Old Navy

Crinkled Smocked Fit & Flare Dress

Shop now

Old Navy

High-Waisted Jean Shorts

Shop now

Old Navy

Smocked Tie-Shoulder Midi Dress

Shop now

Old Navy

Puff-Sleeve Dobby Midi Dress

Shop now

Old Navy

High-Waisted Cut-Off Jeans

Shop now

Old Navy

Wide-Leg Cropped Pants

Shop now

Old Navy

Striped Shirt Dress

Shop now

Old Navy

Twill Utility Jacket

Shop now

Old Navy

Flutter-Sleeve Blouse

Shop now

Old Navy

Rib-Knit Midi Shift Dress

Shop now

Darling Letters: On the Type of Leaders We Choose to Be

A woman seated on a chair with her hands pressed against her mouth

We are bringing “Darling Letters” from your inbox to the blog! We love the art of letter writing and believe it helps build authentic community. Our editors and contributors have thoughtfully written encouraging letters to cut through the busyness and speak straight to your heart.

In her novel “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” author J.K. Rowling wrote, “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” 

Recently, on a hectic work day, I was reminded of these powerful words. As my email notifications pinged in the background, my stress levels piqued. Then, the moment happened. Someone on my team asked a question in an email chain about something that I had previously explained in detail, and I reacted instead of responding with patience. 

I reacted instead of responding with patience. 

I sent a quick and snippy, “Per my previous email…” You know that passive aggressive, easy response we send when we safely sit behind the comfort of our computer screens? She responded kindly with the necessary information, and instantly, I felt that little twinge in my heart say, “Oh shoot, I could have done better.”

The ball was in my court. I thought: What type of leader do I want to be? Will I be the person who is quick to apologize and who lifts up my team? Or will I be the prideful leader who is unrelenting and unwilling to show grace?

I knew what I wanted my answer to be. So I sent her a note thanking her for her hard work on the project and apologizing for being short with her in my previous email.

I’ve had my fair share of bad bossesinternship managers in NYC who sent me home crying, nonprofit leaders who micromanaged my every move and retail managers who made me carry all the weight. None of these are the type of leader or person I want to be. I want to roll up my sleeves and work side-by-side with my team. I want to champion them. I want to stay at the table to have the hard but necessary conversations for clarity. 

The measure of our leadership isn’t contingent upon how well we treat our superiors or those who have something to offer us. It’s based on how we treat our team, especially the ones who are a few steps behind us. Let’s roll up our sleeves and be leaders who lead from a place of humility and grace and watch how it transforms the workplace.

The measure of our leadership is based on how we treat our team, especially the ones who are a few steps behind us.

With hope,
Stephanie Taylor, Online Managing Editor

How would you describe your style of leadership? As leaders, how can we help foster healthy workplace culture?

Image via Ben Cope, Darling Issue No. 15

Awkward Sex Moments and How to Deal With Them






Source: We Vibe | Unsplash

Remember when we talked about the importance of talking about sex with your friends? We weren’t kidding. Telling your friends about your sex life (whether it’s issues and complications or all the best!) can seem daunting, but it normalizes these experiences we all have.

CURRENTLY TRENDING /

The Best 4th of July Sales to Shop This Weekend

epic discounts from our favorite retailers 🇺🇸 

But what do we do when something weird happens? We’re talking something uncomfortable, awkward, and downright embarrassing. Our first thought might be to delete our social media and move to Malta. (No one would ever guess Malta, right?) Some of us might hide and never bring it up again, hoping both parties forget it ever happened.

Well, it happened, and you know what? It’s totally normal and not actually a big deal. We’re running down the top 10 most awkward sex moments and how you can deal with them (without running away to a foreign country).

 

1. They finish too quickly

Remember when Ross and Rachel first have sex and Rachel thinks Ross climaxes almost immediately? This can be awkward, uncomfortable, and a little anticlimactic (ironically). However, trust us: this is just as awkward for your partner, meaning there is no reason to worry about it.

If things end sooner than you were expecting, don’t be afraid to ask your partner if they can help you finish as well. Sex is a two-way street, and most of the time, they’d be ecstatic to get you there too!

 

2. Taking off the shapewear

You’re in your hottest outfit, and those Spanx are doing you good. What’s a bump? Never heard of her. You meet a guy at the bar or you decide to go home after the date, and it’s getting steamy. We’re talking Chuck-and-Blair-in-the-back-of-the-limo hot. The clothes start to come off, and “OH MY GOD I’M WEARING SPANX” jumps into your brain. This same questioning comes when you’re wearing a bodysuit and the person you’re with has no idea what to do with it.

Don’t worry, you have a few options here. If you’re absolutely embarrassed and petrified, you can excuse yourself to the restroom and get naked in there. This eliminates the need to take those tight undergarments off in front of the person and can honestly be kinda sexy. However, there is absolutely no reason to be embarrassed by something like this. A lot of women wear these undergarments to feel more confident. Laugh about it with your partner and move on.

 

3. It’s going on forever

You climaxed like 20 minutes ago, and at this point, it’s starting to feel like your insides are a punching bag. With a romantic partner, it might be a little easier to say, “alright, hurry this thing up.” However, if you’re only casually sleeping with someone, this can be a little uncomfortable.

Ask your partner if he or she wants to try a different position or wants to try something else. They might get the hint that things are going on a little bit longer than you wanted or this might help them finish as well. It’s also a good way to try something new!

 

4. Your vagina makes a weird noise

All women have experienced this in the bedroom, and if you haven’t, it’s because you’ve buried it so deep, you’ve forced yourself to forget. The vagina is a weird and totally awesome organ that makes weird noises at times, especially when air, fluids, and *ahem* other body parts are inserted (pun absolutely intended) into the mix.

Odds are, your partner is unphased by any weird noises you’re making. If they are, gently remind them that it’s normal and to keep doing what they’re doing.

 

5. When literally anyone farts

If your partner does, the first instinct might be to run. If you do, the first instinct could also be to get a faceplant and inhabit Mars. Either way, this situation is obviously awkward.

This is a normal body function, and sometimes, it happens at inopportune times. You just have to laugh at yourselves. (And then maybe light a candle.)

 

6. When they want you to stay over but you just want to be in your own bed

You just had a great time together, and they’re ready to get their spoon on, but your bed is really calling your name after that workout.

Be straight with your partner about wanting to go home. You could also compromise and say you’ll stay over next time!

 

7. You really need to pee

You’re in the heat of it — it’s hot, it’s sexy, you’re having a great time, and your bladder decides to interrupt with an important message saying IT’S FULL. What happens if you just stop and run to the bathroom? Is that going to kill the vibe? You also can’t pee all over these white sheets, so there aren’t many options here. Should we wait it out? Nope, bladder just said you cannot wait it out.

In this case, it’s OK to say stop and let your body do its thing. Be aware that orgasms (they’re all different, remember?) and female ejaculation can feel like you’re about to pee. If you’re confused or worried about a sensation, don’t be afraid to bring it up with a doctor to make sure.

 

8. Someone can’t get aroused

You could be so excited and ready to get it on with this person, but your body just doesn’t respond how you want it to. As if the mood couldn’t be killed any more.

Be patient with yourself and your partner during situations like this. It has nothing to do with you or them, and make your partner aware that you understand that. If this becomes a persistent issue in the relationship, there are tons of options out there for both of you, so talk to your doctor!

 

9. When they don’t quite understand the female anatomy

The sexual education system must not have taught some people exactly how the vagina and the vulva works. In their defense, it can get quite slippery down there, so a little movement is expected. However, when he entirely misses (AKA going after the wrong holes down there), there aren’t many other ways to explain the expression other than 😮.

This might be painful and kill the mood, so instruct your partner to touch you exactly where you want. Not only do you avoid this happening again, but you’ll probably get a little more pleasure out of sex too!

If this accident becomes a pattern, it might be time to sit your partner down and remind them of both your sexual boundaries and discuss what you’re both looking for.

 

10. When it’s over and you realize everything you just said

When you’re in the moment, it’s common to get caught up in it all. The sex is hot and heavy, and we’re sexual creatures, so sometimes, you’re going to say some crazy sh*t. (No shame in your game, girl!) So, when you’re laying there afterward or in the shower, and you think back to everything you said and did, the embarrassment starts to set in. Yes, girlfriend, you really said that.

Dirty talk is normal and fun! If you’re worried your partner didn’t enjoy it, talk with them about what they’d like next time. However, odds are, they were into it as much as you.

 

And because awkward moments happen seriously all the time, we had to add a few honorable mentions: when trying a new position doesn’t quite go “as planned,” looking at yourself in the mirror afterward to be greeted by mascara smudges that would scare the mightiest of raccoons, worrying that your neighbors/roommates/the entire block can hear you, getting a leg cramp (because getting older is sexy AF), getting your period out of nowhere, when that picture of his or her family on the nightstand is staring right back at you (we love people who love their families!), when you’re just not into it anymore and have to think about A$AP Rocky to get to the end—ladies, the list could go on. Sex is a beautiful, fun, weird, uncomfortable, awkward, and totally normal experience. There is no reason to feel insecure or embarrassed by any of this.